Kimagure Orange College - Episode 5
by Stephen Tsai
 
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	One thing I would like to say up front:  Although I and my 
co-writer have both graduated from college, our experience is in 
the American college system and culture.  The span of our 
experience in the Japanese advanced education system is limited 
with what we can pick up watching anime, reading manga, and 
consulting with friends, pen pals and anime clubs.  Any mistakes, 
inconsistencies, etc. are neither intentional nor are they meant 
to show disrespect for the Japanese education system.  In fact, we 
would appreciate any constructive criticisms, corrections, and 
insight any readers might offer us.    Mail all such letters, 
praises or flames to acombs@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu.]

Episode 5 - Don't Drink the Water

[Cut to a black screen.  From the darkness, the sounds of a 
bubbling liquid can be heard.  A 1000ml beaker is being heated as 
a measured quantity of white powder is added.  Kasuga pick up a 
spoon and stir the reddish mixture, while looking over a sheet of 
written instructions...]

Kasuga:  Let's see...stir until sugar is completely dissolved.  
[Stops stirring and examines the bubbling mixture and nods with 
satisfaction.  He then picks up half a lemon and squeezes it into 
the beaker.]  Ya-tah!  Did it without screwing up!  [He looks at 
the list again and smiles.]  Cooking's not so tough after 
all...eh?  [He starts folding the list and then freezes as he 
watches the punch concentrate start to boil over the beaker.]  Oh 
shoot!  [Frantically turns the burner off.]

Kasuga's Narration:  It was the day of our boarding house party.  
Fujimoto-san had arranged everything to welcome the new tenants to 
the house that afternoon, and even encouraged us to invite guests.  
Naturally I invited Ayukawa, while Katsu invited Kimura and Saito.  
Everyone is bringing food or drink; Fujimoto even provided me a 
simple punch recipe.  She told me that a party like this would 
help new friends to get to know each other better.  Even so, I 
doubt that even she knew just how prophetic she was going to be...

Fujimoto:  [From outside on the front lawn]  Kasuga-san!

Kasuga:  [Sticks his head out his front window.]  Ah...Fujimoto-
san!  I just finished and I'll be right down.

Fujimoto:  [Nods and smiles.]  Before you do, would you check on 
Katsu-san?  I...<sniff!> have a feeling that he's occupied and I 
wouldn't want him to forget about the party.

Kasuga:  [Nods]  Hai!  I'll check on him on my way down.

[Cut to Katsu's room.  He picks up a small beaker and carefully 
pours its contents into a graduated cylinder.  After measuring off 
some of the chemical, he pours it into an awaiting Erlenmeyer 
flask, lights a Bunsen burner, then sets the flask on a hot plate.  
As he watches the magnetic fluid agitator stir the mixture into a 
small whirlpool, he hears a knock on the door.]

Katsu:  [Without looking up]  Come in!

Kasuga:  [Walks into Katsu's room and sets the beaker of punch 
concentrate down on the table.]  Hey aren't you coming to the 
party?

Katsu:  In a little while.  [Picks up a beaker and pours.]  Just a 
few more things I gotta do...

Kasuga:  What exactly are you doing?  [Worried look flashes on his 
face.]  Did I forget an assignment?  We don't have to do all this 
for Chemistry I do we?

Katsu:  No, this is a job for a professional company.  [Puts down 
the beaker and picks up another.]

Kasuga:  Professional job...?

Katsu:  Well, my older brother works for a chemical research 
company.  One of his assistants is a graduate student doing some 
research on behavioral-modification chemicals.  [Puts down the 
beaker, picks up two test tubes and pours them into a flask.]  He 
volunteered my services on some of the more mundane chores so he 
could concentrate on the more technical aspects of his experiment.

Kasuga:  Sounds like good experience but, jeez, don't you ever 
stop?  The party's gonna start in half-an-hour.

Katsu:  I'll be there...[Picks up another test tube.]  I'm just in 
the middle of something that can't wait.  As soon as I have this 
compound stable, I'll join you guys downstairs.

Kasuga:  Well OK...[Picks up his beaker]  Just don't be too late 
or you'll miss out on the food.

Katsu:  [Laughs]  Just be sure to save me some of Ayukawa-san's 
cooking!  You've raved about it so much, I've gotta give it a try.

Kasuga:  [Smiles.]  Hai.  [Leaves.]

[Cut to Egami's office.  He is sitting by his desk, going over his 
ledger.  After crossing off a few entries, he lifts his head and 
turns his attention to his visitor.]

Egami:  I hope you know, Mariko-san, that I have a bad feeling 
about this party.  What are they going to do to the house?  Young 
people these days...so unreliable.

Fujimoto:  Nonsense Isamu-san!  And this party is good for your 
tenants' morale.  It'll give them a feeling of togetherness.  
Besides, [Leans over and smiles] having them feel better about 
their situation keeps them from being late for their rent.

Egami:  [Fumes then grudgingly]  Hrumph...you always did know what 
buttons to press.  But what about...[Glances to the upper right 
corner of the boarding house.]

Fujimoto:  [Expression turns cold suddenly]  Tanaka-san is, of 
course, a tenant and free to join us.

Egami:  [Knowingly]  But that's not what you want, is it?

Fujimoto:  [Looks down, almost in shame]  No...

Egami:  [Sympathetically]  You know that if it were up to me, he'd 
have been gone long time ago.  But, he pays his rent and keeps the 
peace.  He doesn't give me a reason I can use...

Fujimoto:  I've already heard this before...and you've already 
heard how I feel about him.

Egami:  Sometimes, I wonder why you don't move, since you feel 
that way.

Fujimoto:  [Smile returns]  I guess it's what we once meant to 
each other.  [More seriously as her eyes slowly look towards Room 
No 4.]  And someone has to keep an eye on him...

[Cut to Room 4.  Tanaka is sitting by his table as he pour a cup 
of green tea and offers it to another man seated across from the 
table.  The second man is dressed in western business attire and 
his expression is one of concern.]

Tanaka:  <Ah-choo!>*
*Japanese myth; sneezing implies that someone's talking about you.

Other man:  Are you alright, sir?

Tanaka:  [With a deliberate and calculating tone.]  Just 
fine...please continue...

Other man:  [With equally deliberate phrasing]  Well, I suppose 
you are wondering why I felt the need to visit you.

Tanaka:  [With cold but amused sarcasm]  I was hoping it was for 
the pleasure of my company...

Other man:  [Coldly]  I'm not interested in engaging in your 
little game.  [Leans forward for emphasis]  What I am interested 
in is whether or not you've decided to return to our organization.

Tanaka:  [Smiles]  As soon as I have completed my 
commitments...far be it for me to be considered...unreliable...

Other man:  [Frustrated]  Can I expect an answer from you tonight?

Tanaka:  [Looks out the window at the gathering party]  I think 
I'm going to be occupied tonight, but after we're done 
here...[Looks down the hill and sees who's coming up the road...]  
Well...well...[Closes the drapes] this is getting interesting...

Other man:  What?  [Stands up and walks towards the window.]  
Who's coming?

Tanaka:  [Pulls the drapes aside slightly and gestures at three 
girls coming up the hill.]

Other man:  [Eyes narrow]  Which one are you thinking of?  The 
red-haired one?

Tanaka:  [Scoffs]  Be serious...I've met her a couple of times in 
the hallway...she would be too easy.  No...the one in the middle.

Other man:  [Admiringly] I see your tastes have stayed sharp.  
Does she have a boyfriend?

Tanaka:  [His eyes drift towards the wall that separates Room 4 
and Room 5 and smiles...]

Other man:  [His admiration turns cold]  Apparently your audacity 
hasn't diminished either...Just be more careful this time...

Tanaka:  [Confidently]  Don't worry...I never make the same 
mistake twice...

[Cut back to the boarding house front lawn.  A portable stereo/CD 
player fills the air with J-pop.  Miyasato Yoko and Kasamatsu are 
stringing up some outside lighting, while Miyasato Yuko and Saito 
are unfolding some tables.]

Yoko:  [Standing on a ladder.]  ...and that should do it!  [Looks 
down at Kasamatsu]  Well, help me down!

Kasamatsu:  Heh...sure!  [Evil smile as he reaches to take Yoko's 
hand.]

Yoko:  YYYYAAAAARRRRRGGGGGHHHHH!  [Kasamatsu's unexpectedly 
shocking grip catches Yoko off-guard and sends her tumbling down 
the ladder into Kasamatsu's arms.]

Kasamatsu:  See Saito?  That's how you get girls to fall 
for...<BAAAM!!!>

Yoko:  [Smacks Kasamatsu in the jaw.]  CREEP!  DON'T YOU EVER USE 
A BUZZER ON ME AGAIN!

Kasamatsu:  [Lies on the ground and twitches with a bug-eyed 
expression on his face.] ...aaaaahhhhh...

Yuko:  [Noticing the exchange]  Baka...

Saito:  Don't mind him...it's his way.  [Smiles as he pulls out 
one of the tables' folding legs.]

Yuko:  Oh...why?

Saito:  I think it's just to get attention.  When we were in 
school, both of us were social outcasts, so I guess that's how he 
decided to handle it.  What about you two?  What's your story?

Yuko:  [Boastfully]  Well, when we were in high-school, I had a 
steady boyfriend.  Nakayama Sho and I...

Yoko:  [Protests]  Hey, Nakayama-san was my boyfriend!

Yuko:  That's not what he told me!

Yoko:  [Dreamy-eyed]  He said there was no one else but me!

Yuko:  [Now getting steamed]  HE MEANT ME!

Saito:  Come on, you two.  No need to get steamed over someone 
who's not here.  Me, well...[Puts his arms around both twins' 
shoulders.] I prefer the gentle appr...ye-Ye-YEOWW!  [Pulls his 
arms away as his fingers from both his hands were in imminently 
danger of being snapped.]

Both Miyasato's in unison:  [Sarcastically] Try the less obvious 
approach first..."lover boy".

Saito:  [Turns around and pulls out a paperback from his back 
pocket labeled, "Bachelor Japan."]  Let's see..."If she rejects 
you first, then..."

Kasuga:  [Comes out holding the beaker of punch, as he watches 
Saito shake his fingers loose, while reading the book.]  That's 
not going to help, you know.

Saito:  What do you mean by that?

Kasuga:  You can't trust what they say in those kind of books.

Saito:  [Puts the book back in his pocket.]  Oh yeah?  How do you 
know?

Kasuga:  [Puts his arm behind his head with an embarrassed look on 
his face.]  Well...because I've already read that one twice 
myself.

Saito:  Heh...I thought so.  [Looks at his watch.]  Wonder 
where's...

Kimura:  Konnichiwa!

Saito:  [Turns around and sees Ayukawa, Kimura, and Akane walking 
up the hill.  Each is carrying a dish of food.]  Ah Fujimoto-san!  
The food's here!

Fujimoto:  [Comes out from the front entrance of the boarding 
house and motions to the tables already set up]  Just set them 
down on the table and I'll start the punch!  [Starts to pour the 
concentrate then stops.]  Eh?  <sniff> [Taking a whiff, she looks 
dubiously at the punch concentrate.  She then carefully dips her 
finger in the concentrate and samples a tiny amount.  She winces 
at the surprisingly bitter taste.]  Um!  [Pours in another cup of 
sugar as she says to herself...]  Kasuga-san must not have put 
enough sugar in this...[She then pours it into the punch bowl, 
adds carbonated water, then smiles.]  Much better...[Puts the 
beaker down and...] Eiji!  Would you bring out the pastries?

[At the mention of his name, a short, black-haired boy comes 
running out and protests...]
Eiji:  OKAASAN!*  I WANNA GO OUT AND PLAY!
*Mother, or in this case, mommy...:-)

Fujimoto:  [Sternly raises a finger]  Now Eiji...what did I tell 
you about being selfish?

Eiji:  [Looks down]  S-sorry...[Fujimoto smiles at his apology 
then continues setting up the food.  Eiji smiles; it isn't the 
first time he's had to apologize, and he expects that it won't be 
the last.]

Ayukawa:  [Puts a plate of karaage* on the table]  Here you go!
*Japanese styled fried chicken; usually served in small pieces

Kimura:  Wow...it smells so good!  [Sets down a plate of onigiri* 
and sushi** pieces arranged in concentric circles.]
*riceball with salted salmon (or pickled plum) in the middle
**rice formed into bite-sized oblongs with various toppings such 
as raw fish.

Akane:  [Puts down a plate of tempura* pieces.]  Yeah Madoka-san!  
How do you keep doing it?
*fish and vegetables deep fried in a flour-and-water batter

Fujimoto:  [Smiles]  They all look wonderful!  [Turns to the party 
guests]  By the way, I would like everyone to meet my son Eiji.

Kimura:  Wow...kawaii!*  [Pinches him on the cheek.]
*cute

Eiji:  Che...!*
*Mild Japanese expression of disappointment/irritation

Fujimoto:  [Warningly]  Eiji...

Ayukawa:  Nice to meet you.  Call me Madoka-oneechan*.
*older sister

Eiji:  Sure...[Looks her over] Boy oneechan, you sure are stacked!

Ayukawa:  ...

Fujimoto:  Eiji!  [Points to the boarding house.]  Go to your room 
right now, young man!

Eiji:  Hrumph...!  [Looks over the food table.]  Can I at least 
have some cake?

Fujimoto:  [Sternly]  I'll bring you some later!  Here...[Hands 
him a cup of punch] you can have something to drink first...

Akane:  [Chuckles to herself]  What a brat...[Glances admiringly 
at Ayukawa] but he is right about Madoka-san...

Fujimoto:  [Starts filling small cups with punch.]  
Children...[pauses to wipe her brow] help yourselves!

Ayukawa:  Eh?  [Notices that Fujimoto is sweating a bit more than 
usual.]  Are you alright Fujimoto-san?

Fujimoto:  [With an affectionate tone as she smiles and her face 
starts to flush.]  Just fine...Madoka-chan.

Ayukawa:  [Almost chokes on her punch]  ...

[Cut back to Katsu's room.  Most of the table is put away and 
Katsu looks like he is almost done.]

Katsu:  Just one more...[Picks up a test tube and starts to pour 
it into a beaker.] and that should do it.  [As he starts to pour, 
the red fluid in the beaker starts to fizzle.  Katsu, apparently 
not expecting this, stops pouring and steps back with a surprised 
look on his face.  The fluid continues to fizzle then starts to 
rise up on the sides of the beaker.]  What the...! <BOOOM!>  [The 
beaker shatters, sending the thick red fluid all over Katsu and 
his room.  He picks himself up and shakes his head.  He mutters to 
himself...]  Che!  Well that wasn't suppose to happen...[He then 
notices the odor on his shirt.]  Eh...?  <Sniff!>  [He tentatively 
dabs a tiny quantity on his finger and touches the tip of his 
tongue.]  Punch...?  [Five seconds later...]  OH SHOOT...!

COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Background music: "It's Love" the 1st movie's ending theme]

[On the screen we see a bunch of typical Ranma scenes:  He and 
Ryouga fighting, Shampoo and Kodachi shmoozing him, Akane glaring, 
etc.]

[Narration: This spring, the phenomenally popular series Ranma 1/2 
returns with an all new set of stories to tell.  Beginning this 
week, when Ranma and Kasumi find out what's hidden on the back 
side of their minds...]

[Ranma and Akane pointing at the screen and smiling.]

Ranma'Akane:  BE THERE!!!

END COMMERCIAL BREAK

[Cut to Egami's room.  After completing his last entry, he closes 
his ledger and sighs.  As the sounds of festivities outside 
continue, he hears a knock on his door.]

Egami:  Enter!

Tanaka:  [Enters the room]  Konbonwa*, kanrinin-sama**.  I just 
dropped by to take care of my next month's rent.
*Good evening
**Manager; in this case, with extreme respect noted by the "-sama"

Egami:  [Coldly]  Early as usual, I appreciate that...

Tanaka:  [With smooth confidence]  Well, I always believed that 
one should always settle one's obligations promptly.  Tell me, how 
is the party going?

Egami:  Well, Fujimoto said you were invited, so why don't you go 
find out for yourself?

Tanaka:  [Mild mock surprise]  Really?  Well, [smiles] far be it 
for me to decline so...generous an offer.  [Leaves.]

Egami:  [Look of concern on his face] Hmm...[His contemplations 
are interrupted as Fujimoto opens the door and enters.]  Eh?  
[Frowns]  It's not like to you enter without knocking...

Fujimoto:  [With a slightly drunk appearance, she sits down.]  I'm 
sorry, but I just had to stop by and check on you.  [Smiles and 
hands him a cup of punch]  Have a drink, ojiisan*.
*grandfather or old man

Egami:  [Mutters almost to himself]  It's not like you to drink 
either...[Takes the cup and swallows the punch in one gulp, then 
suddenly realizes what Fujimoto just called him.]  Are you sure 
you're alright?

Fujimoto:  [Reassuringly]  I'm fine!  Oh my...[Gets up and starts 
cleaning up his room, washing his dishes, and collecting his 
laundry.] Just sit right there, ojiisan.  I'll take care of 
everything...

Egami:  [Looks at the empty cup he just drank from.]  Oh...boy...!

[Cut to the front lawn of the boarding house.  By now, laughter 
can be heard from the partygoers.  One particularly enthusiastic 
giggle however, stands out especially...]

Kimura:  [Giggles uncontrollably on her hands and knees]  
Yahahahaha...!  [She looks down at an ugly toad sitting in the 
flower bed and points.]  Come here kaeru-chan!*  Kawaii...I'll 
feed you and play with you...!  [Understandably, the toad gets 
upset and starts leaping away...]  [With disappointment] 
Aww...[Then her eyes light up as she notices a grasshopper hop 
towards the middle of the lawn.]  Kawaii!!!  Kirigirisu-chan!**  
[Starts crawling after the grasshopper, passing Saito and Yuko on 
the way.]
*toad
**grasshopper

Saito:  [Holding Yuko's hand, this time with smooth, romantic 
confidence.]  Yuko-san, I've...never felt this way about anyone.  
For the first time in my life...

Yuko:  [Looks at him with a hopeful expression, then looks away 
with an expression of hesitancy]  I...I never wanted to feel like 
this again.  [Brings her free hand up and joins Saito's hand.]  
The last guy I fell for left me...dumped me without even saying 
goodbye...

Saito:  [Gently pulls her closer]  I'm not Nakayama Sho...

[As Saito kisses Yuko full on the lips, another sound can be heard 
across the lawn.  On the side of the house, a figure dressed in 
dark red is trying to sneak into the window.  Unfortunately, the 
figure's girth is making even this simple action a performance...]

Kasamatsu:  Umph!  [Looking ridiculous dressed as an overweight 
ninja, he starts reciting to himself in a narrative style.]  Red 
Ninja...<umph!>...moves like a shadow in the night.  [As he 
tumbles inside, his foot knocks over a vase that goes shatters on 
the floor with a crash.  Just has he manages to get to his feet, 
he hears a sound behind him.  He turns his head and sees Yoko was 
posing in front of a mirror wearing only a sexy negligee.]

Yoko:  EEEEEEIIIIIIICCCCC!!!!  HENTAI!!!!*
*Pervert

Kasamatsu:  Opps!  [Continues narrating as he goes running off.]  
The alarm sounds!  Red Ninja escapes!  [Tries to open the door but 
Yoko grabs him in the back first...]  

Yoko:  [Pulls her fist back as speed lines form in the 
background...]  BUTA!*
*You pig!

[Cut to the hallway just outside Room 2.  The door bursts open as 
Kasamatsu comes crashing out and flops on the floor, scrambling 
for cover as a variety of small items come flying out of the room.  
After taking a book in the head, he manages to get up and try to 
escape, only to run right into Egami.]

Kasamatsu:  Yikes!  Enemy soldier!

Egami:  [Grabs his broom and shakes it threateningly.]  WRECK MY 
PLACE WILL YOU?

Kasamatsu:  EVEN WORSE...ENEMY GENERAL!!

Egami:  [Smacks Kasamatsu on the head with the broom handle.]  
KISS YOUR FURNITURE GOODBYE!

Kasamatsu:  [Runs out the door.]  RED NINJA VALIANTLY MAKES HIS 
ESCAPE!

Egami:  [Grabs Kasamatsu's head and pulls the cowl off as he 
shouts...]  AND DON'T BE LATE WITH YOUR RENT!

Kasamatsu:  [Protects his head as he runs away...]  BUT I DON'T 
LIVE HERE!

Egami:  [Gives him another swat]  THAT'S NO EXCUSE!

[As Kasamatsu goes running out the front door, the camera pans 
across the downstairs corridor.  We see Ayukawa walking towards 
the stairway.  Standing next to her is Kasuga.]

Kasuga:  [Romantically]  Ayukawa...[Drapes his arms around her 
shoulders]

Ayukawa:  [Accepts his arm as she turns to face him]  Kasuga-
kun...

Kasuga:  [With confidence and charm]  It's time we got serious 
about...our relationship.  [Opens the door to Room 1, and gestures 
for her to enter.  Seeing her hesitate, he asks...]  Do you want 
to go back to your place?

Ayukawa:  [She smiles...]  I don't want to go home tonight...

[As they close the door behind them, the camera pans to the left 
and up the stairs.  Kasuga is seen walking up the stairs with a 
confident look on his face...]

Kasuga:  [To himself]  Don't know why, but I feel so sure of 
myself...[Smiles with confidence]  Tonight, I'll show Ayukawa what 
a man I am...[Starts walking upstairs, then stops as his 
confidence slips a little] ...just as soon as I find her...

[As all this occurs, the camera slowly zooms in on the front door 
of the boarding house, where Katsu watches in horror, realizing 
that he's too late.  Standing behind him, Tanaka watches with 
amusement.]

Katsu:  [As he watches the chaos in and around the boarding 
house.]  Oh...no...!  [Suddenly realizes that someone is behind 
him.]  Eh...Tanaka-san!

Tanaka:  Well, well...[Shakes his head and smiles.]  Sake wa 
honshin o arawasu*
*People reveal their true selves when drunk. (Japanese proverb)

Katsu:  [Protests]  They're not drunk!  There must have been a 
mix-up in the lab!

Tanaka:  I see...[Thoughtfully]  Well, I suppose you have your 
work cut out for you...

Katsu:  Me?  What are you going to do?

Tanaka:  Well...it isn't everyday that one is granted such 
a...unique opportunity.  [Turns to him and smiles]  Thank you ...

Katsu:  [Suspiciously]  What did you mean by that?

Tanaka:  I make it my business to learn about people and thanks to 
you...there's less work for me...[Leaves the building, pulls up a 
chair on the front lawn and sits down.  He picks up a piece of 
sushi on the party plate, dips it into a dish of soy sauce and 
casually takes a bite, smiles and continues to watch...]

Katsu:  [Heads back upstairs and mutters]  I'd better dig through 
those notes...before someone does something they'll regret in the 
morning...

[Cut to Room 2.  Saito and Yuko enter the room, ignoring the mess 
that Yoko recently made during her rampage.]

Yuko:  Heh!  Someone must have upset Yoko!  [Starts straightening 
up but is interrupted by Saito, who puts his hands on Yuko's 
shoulders.]

Saito:  [Doing his best Don Juan impersonation.]  I'm not 
interested in Yoko...you're much prettier than she is...

Yuko:  Oh Saito!  I...[suddenly realizes the absurdity of his 
compliment]...wait a minute!

[Cut to Room 3.  The room looks to be in total chaos.  Food can be 
seen tossed carelessly around the small room, spoiling the once-
tidy layout.  Amid the chaos, a small figure can be seen digging 
through the food cabinets and refrigerator.  Every few seconds, 
another package of food gets tossed out, as the figure continues 
his quest...]

Eiji:  WHERE'S THE ICE CREAM?  OKAASAN!

[Cut to outside the boarding house.  The sun having set nearly an 
hour ago, only the hanging lanterns that decorate the outside of 
the house are giving any light.  Behind the umbra of dancing 
shadows, a now-familiar red-dressed figure stalks...]

Kasamatsu:  Red Ninja never quits!  [Tries to "stealthily" walk 
through the backyard flower bed, snapping and crunching small 
twigs and leaves as he goes...]  Not pain or determined opposition 
will keep him from his goal...[as he rubs the swollen bump on the 
back of his head.]  Let the fools beware!  [Breaks out into 
manaical laughter as he climbs up the side of the wall along the 
wooden vine rack and reaches for the rear window.  The window 
makes a loud squeak as he lifts it off the hinges.  Inside Room 4, 
Yoko is dressed in a party dress.  Soft music is playing in her 
room as she dances with her eyes closed, oblivious to the world.  
She hums along with the music, then starts singing.  Her fist is 
balled next to her throat, as if she were holding a microphone on 
stage.]  Hey...she's pretty good...[Grits his teeth and shakes his 
head.]  But I can't think about that...must concentrate on the 
mission!!

Yoko:  [Bows at the conclusion of the song, then looks up and 
freezes.  Standing in front of her is "Red Ninja".  Reaching under 
her skirt for her underwear is "Red Ninja's" hand.]  WHY...YOU...!

[Cut to Room 1.  Ayukawa and Kasuga are lying down on the futon.  
Then, without warning, the door suddenly opens, compelling the two 
to pull apart.]

Fujimoto:  [Sticking her head in]  Now children!  Don't forget to 
study before you go to bed.  [Notices who's in the room.]  And 
Akane...don't be naughty!  [Smiles and closes the door.]

Ayukawa:  [Pushes "Kasuga" away.  She looks at him closely and her 
eyes narrow.]  Akane...?

Akane:  [Kasuga's form melts into Akane's paralyzed expression of 
fear.]  Uh...uh...?

[Ayukawa pulls her hand back as speed lines form in the 
background...

<SLAP!>...<SLAP!>...<SLAP!>

As the echoes fade, Akane's limp form falls by the wayside...]

Ayukawa:  [Brushes her hair back as she stands up.]  I'd better 
find Kasuga-kun.  I'll bet he's getting himself into trouble...

Akane:  Aaa...ayu...ka...wa...[Fall unconscious.]

[Cut to Katsu's room.  He has several folders containing complex 
chemical formulas lying across his floor and pinned to the wall.  
Most of these folders are labelled "Pharmaceuticals Research 
Dept".  His movements reflect a frenzied pace as both bunsen 
burners are ignited and several beakers, flasks and test tubes are 
filled with a variety of chemicals and arranged in groups.]

Katsu:  Gotta put a stop to this before something really screws 
up.  Let's see "...reduces higher-level activity in the cerebral 
and neural centers of the brain.  Impairs judgement and memory.  
Removes inhibitions..."  [Picks up two test tubes and pours them 
into a beaker.  The solution starts bubbling as he puts it on an 
iron ring suspended above one of the burners.  He picks up a flask 
labelled, "Compound IV" and extracts a small quantity with a eye-
dropper and adds it to the beaker, turning the solution from clear 
to a vile-smelling yellow fluid.]  Phew!...and I thought the 
chemical plant smelled bad...

[Cut back to downstairs just outside Room 3.  The door bursts open 
and Eiji comes staggering out.  His face has a bloated but 
satisfied expression.  There is something cold and wet around his 
lips...]

Eiji:  I...found...the...ice...cr- [collapses unconscious]

Fujimoto:  [Passing by the downstairs corridor.]  Sigh... [Picks 
up Eiji and lays him down on his futon.  She sternly awakens him 
and says...]  I hope you learn something Eiji...you shouldn't 
spoil your dinner in the future.  Now go to bed...[Eiji nods and 
passes out.  Fujimoto pulls the covers over then goes back to the 
outside corridor.]  Now children!  [Holds up an authoritarian 
finger as Akane emerges from Room 1, Saito staggers out of Room 2, 
Kimura starts dragging Kasuga upstairs, and Kasamatsu comes 
tumbling down the stairs from Room 4.]  It's getting late and none 
of you have done your homework!

Everyone present:  Hhhhaaaaiiiii...mamagon*...
*Literally Dragon Mother; a Japanese expression used to describe 
women who pressure their children to study constantly

[Cut to Room 5.  The door opens as Kasuga is dragged in by Kimura.  
As soon as the door closes, she starts taking her clothes off...]

Kimura:  [Sits on Kasuga's futon, then with a dreamy, incoherent 
voice...]  I'm waiting Kyo-chan!

Kasuga:  [With a romantic, but slightly drunk tone]  Wait no 
more...tonight, I shall sweep you on a magical journey as we ride 
the night sky...

Kimura:  <giggle!>

Kasuga:  [Saunters over towards the futon, extends his arm 
then...]  <BAAAM!!!>  OW!  [Collapses unconscious.]

Ayukawa:  [Holding a baseball bat with "Home Run Slugger" stamped 
on the side.]  Kasuga-kun!  [Picks him up and carries him bodily 
over her shoulder.]  It's time for you and me to get 
serious...You're mine now, understand?

Kasuga:  [Lifts his head.] Yes ma'am...!  [Snaps a salute and 
knocks himself back to unconsciousness.]

Kimura:  [Disappointment as she watches Ayukawa drag Kasuga away.]  
Aww...[Look of disappointment vanishes as she rolls over and pulls 
something out from under the covers.]  Oh well <giggle!>...it 
looks like it's just you and me kaeru-chan!

Toad:  <croak!>

[Cut to Room 6.  Katsu carefully pours a solution into a small 
medical container and seals it.  He then inverts the bottle and 
pokes the needle of a pistol-shaped hypo-injector into the 
bottle.]

Katsu:  [To himself]  ...and that should do it.  Now I gotta to 
cure the others!  [He leaves his room and walks to Room 5 and 
opens the door.  What he sees inside make his jaw hit the floor.]

Kimura:  [Lifts her head up and dreamily...]  Ritchan, come and 
show me what true love means!

Katsu:  [Almost drops the hypo-injector.]  Uh...

[Cut back to Egami's room.  Inside, the room is quiet and dark.  
Alone in the shadows is Tanaka, who has apparently decided to take 
refuge in the only quiet place left in the boarding house.  A 
cigarette slowly burns in an ashtray as Tanaka dictates into a 
mini-tape recorder.]

Tanaka:  ...has been a chaotic but educational experience.  New 
paragraph.  I'll have to remember to...commend Katsu-san's efforts 
in my endeavors.  His misadventure has proven itself to be a 
fortuitous event.  I don't believe I could have learned this much 
if I had asked the guests myself.  As before, I must tread 
carefully.  However, unlike last time, I enter the arena prepared 
and my goal in sight...[Clicks the recorder off.  He picks up his 
cigarette and takes one puff, slowly allowing the smoke to escape 
his lips before putting it back on the ashtray.  His lips slowly 
form a shadow of a smile...]  Ayukawa-san....

[Cut to Room 5.  Katsu is struggling with his hypo-injector, as 
Kimura continues giggling while rolling around in Kasuga's futon.]

Katsu:  Come on!  [Tries to grab her, but can't bring himself to 
apply any strength behind his grip.]  Stop struggling!

Kimura:  <giggle!>  That tickles!

Katsu:  [Blushes with embarrassment.]  This better work, or I'm 
going to have some interesting questions to answer 
tomorrow...[Shoots Kimura in the arm with the hypo-injector.]

Kimura:  OW!  [Rubs her shoulder, then blushes.]  Wow!  You're so 
bold!

Katsu:  [After a few tense seconds...]  Shoot!  No effect!

Kimura:  [Tosses the toad away.]  Bye-bye kaeru-chan!  [Turns to 
Katsu.]  Katsu-san, what's going on?  Where have you been for the 
last few hours?

Katsu:  Eh?  You're making sense again!  [To himself]  Geez, I 
guess she's always like this...[To Kimura] So...you're OK?

Kimura:  [Nods sharply and smiles]  Um!

Katsu:  Good...You'd better...err...[blushes] get your clothes on.  
[Stands up and prepares to leave]  You and everyone else have been 
under the influence of some behavioral chemicals for the last few 
hours.  I gotta go get the others...

Kimura:  [Grabs his pant sleeve.]  Before you go, can I ask you 
something?

Katsu:  [Stops]  Uhh...sure, what?

Kimura:  [Eyes light up as she points towards the chemicals in the 
hypo-injector.]  Can we do it again?

Katsu:  ......

[Cut to an hour later.  The party guests are gathered around the 
front lawn.  The conversation is subdued and the mood is casual.  
Some of the guests are taking the opportunity to relax; indulging 
in some pieces of tempura, a few pieces of karaage, and a soda or 
two.  To no one's surprise, the rest of the punch stays 
untouched...]

Katsu:  ...and that's the story.  [Bows his head in shame.]  Sorry 
about putting you all through this mess.

Fujimoto:  [Puts her hand on his shoulder with reassurance.]  At 
least you were successful with finding an antidote.  You kept us 
from doing anything we'll regret and no one got hurt.

Yuko:  Humph...!  Speak for yourself.

[Off to one side, Saito is standing next to Yoko.]

Saito:  Well, I have no regrets...how about you?

Yoko:  [Confused]  What are you talking about?

Saito:  [Puts his arm around her.]  Our special night...[starts to 
bring his lips to hers, then...]

<BAAM!>

Yoko:  [Has her fist pointed in Saito's general direction where he 
lies in a semi-conscious state.]  CREEP!  I DON'T KNOW WHAT ARE 
YOU ARE TALKING ABOUT!

Saito:  oPpsS...wRoNg GiRl...!  [Falls over unconcious]

Egami:  Well...to tell the truth, I don't remember much of what 
happened.  Everything's still a little foggy...[Pulls a black 
ninja hood out from under his shirt and thinks it over] Then 
again, maybe that's a blessing...

Kasuga Narration:  In the end, I think we all learned a little 
more about our inner selves that night.  We each saw a side of 
ourselves that we normally hide from each other.  Although most of 
what we did was lost in a blur of memory, I can't help but wonder.  
The one thing I did remember was a sense of freedom; of not having 
any worries about what others were thinking but to express myself 
freely  Maybe I should try to stop being so nervous and 
indecisive.  Maybe I can serve myself best by just being me...

Kimura:  Well, then I guess there's only one question I have left.

Kasuga:  Uh...yeah?

Kimura:  Does this mean you're not going to take me on that magic 
ride?

Kasuga:  Uhh...[Puts his hand behind his head and starts to sweat 
profusely.]

Kasuga Narration:  Then again...maybe not...

[Slowly pull back from the frozen scene.  In the black background, 
the viewer sees a photo of the boarding house residents and the 
party guests all waiting for Kasuga's reply.  Kasuga's face shows 
an expression of stage fright...]

END CREDITS

New Characters Designer/Writer	Stephen Tsai
Co-writer/plotter			Andy Combs
Pre-readers				Ravi Konchigeri
					Derek Work
					Christian Gadeken
					Chung-Mau Cheng
					George Yim
Very special thanks to		Hitoshi Doi

A tip of the hat and a deep bow to	Matsumoto Izumi for starting 
the whole thing

If I left anyone off, my apologies.  Any mistakes/embarrassing 
faux pas are entirely my own.  If there is anything here you must 
flame, aim them at me and me alone.

Thank you for taking the time to read this episode of my series.  
If you are interested, previous episodes should be available at 
the wpi.wpi.edu ftp site.  Assuming that I don't get flamed off 
the net, I've got the next episode in the works.  If you have any 
story ideas, or general ideas, please send them.  Any tidbits 
about the Japanese advanced education system will be especially 
looked at (see first writer's note).

Hope you enjoyed it and thanks again!

For the new readers:  I'll be doing character profiles, major 
location descriptions, and situation updates on a rotating basis 
for each episode.  If there is a particular character, place or 
event that you would like to know more about, and it is not being 
covered, don't hesistate to email me and I will send you either a 
note or a copy of the episode it is introduced.

Focus on Egami Isamu [Introduced in Episode 1]: Kyosuke's 
landlord, Egami is a strict, no-nonsense manager.  He rules the 
boarding house with a whip in one hand and a ledger in the other.  
His terms and rules are simple:  Pay the rent.  Failure to do so 
means a stiff daily penalty charge and expulsion of the offender's 
furniture until he pays.  As a result, he has rarely had a problem 
with tenant delinquency.
	Egami does have a soft spot for one person:  Fujimoto Mariko.  
She helps him maintain the boarding house in a variety of ways 
that does not fail to escape his notice.  As a result, he gives 
her preferential treatment.  In addition, since she basically runs 
the house in all other matters other than financial, any 
suggestions she brings to his attention generally carry a lot of 
weight with him.  No one has been able to determine why this is 
the case, or where the two have known each other before.
Visual Description:  A short, squat man with white hair on the 
sides and a balding top.  He has small, beady eyes and usually an 
angry expression on his face.  Close anime comparisons include 
(but are not limited to) the police chiefs from Dominion and 
Bubble Gum Crisis.

-- 
Andy (The Android) Combs | "Sometimes you're the windshield,
acombs@ccwf.cc.utexas.edu|  sometimes you're the bug."
                         |  Dire Straits
 

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