Kimagure Orange College - Episode 6
by Stephen Tsai
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Kimagure Orange College

[Writer's foreword:  This is the sixth episode of a fan-fict 
series based on the characters in Kimagure Orange Road.  They are 
intended to take place after the movie, "I Want to Return to that 
Day", and follow the characters Kasuga Kyosuke and Ayukawa Madoka 
as they start the next phase of their lives in college.
	If you missed the first few episodes, notes about the new 
characters, and previous events are listed after the ending 
credits.  In addition, previous episodes is available at the ftp site.
	One thing I would like to say up front:  Although I and my 
co-writer have both graduated from college, our experience is in 
the American college system and culture.  The span of our 
experience in the Japanese advanced education system is limited 
with what we can pick up watching anime, reading manga, and 
consulting with friends, pen pals and anime clubs.  Any mistakes, 
inconsistencies, etc. are neither intentional nor are they meant 
to show disrespect for the Japanese education system.  In fact, we 
would appreciate any constructive criticisms, corrections, and 
insight any readers might offer us.  Mail all such letters, 
praises or flames to]

Episode 6 - Foul mouthed fowl

[Cut to the hill leading up to Kasuga's boarding house.  As the 
picture slowly zooms closer, we can see Kasamatsu walking up the 
hill, carrying a box with a cloth drapped over it.  As we get 
closer, we can hear him chuckling to himself...]

Kasuga Narration:  The whole thing started innocently enough.  I 
remember the day before in class, when Kasamatsu-san asked me to 
take care of his pet bird, a large exotic parrot, while he and 
Saito-san left town for the weekend.  Seemed like a small enough 
favor, so I said OK.  There was no way I could have foreseen the 
disasters that were to come next...

Kasamatsu:  Heh...this is gonna be good!  I can't wait to see the 
look on his face when he gets a load of this guy!

[As he gets closer, we hear muffled sounds coming out from the 
box.  Kasamatsu quickly and surreptitiously puts the box down and 
whispers into the box.]

Kasamatsu:  [Whispers]  Hey, it's OK!  We're almost there!

[After the sounds die down, he picks up the box and continues 
until he rounds the corner and sees the boarding house on the side 
of the road.  Walking up the path, he lets himself in and takes 
off his shoes.  As he turns around, he almost bumps into...]

Kasamatsu:  Miyasato-san!  [To both twins]  Going somewhere?

Yuko:  Hai!  We're supposed to meet Katsu-san at the Okonomiyaki-
Maru after his tennis match with Kasuga-san!

Kasamatsu:  Ah, yes!  Well, have a nice time!  [Starts up the 

Yoko:  Say, whatcha got in the box?

Kasamatsu:  Well...[sweats] just a package for Kasuga-san.  
Actually, it's a pet.  He promised to take care of it while Saito-
san and I are gone for the weekend.

Yoko:  Hey!  No pets!

Yuko:  Yeah!  Kanrinin-san's rules!

Kasamatsu:  [Looks confused]  I thought your kanrinin's only rules 
were about rent?

Yoko:  Well [looks a little insincere] actually, Fujimoto-san's 
the one who doesn't like cleaning up after them.  But, since she 
helps kanrinin-san so much with the upkeep...

Yuko:  ...what she says usually goes over with him.

Kasamatsu:  Hey, this is only gonna be here for a weekend!  What's 
the harm if no one knows?

Yoko:  Well [with an extortionist's look on her face...] I don't 

Yuko:  Yeah [returns look to Yoko...] they *do* stink up the place 
pretty fierce.  And since Kasuga's place is right over our...

Kasamatsu:  [Frustrated]  All right!  [Digs out his wallet, leafs 
out several bills and hands them over.]  Here!

Both Miyasato's in unison:  Thank you!  [Snatch bills]

Yoko:  Now we can afford to really party!

Yuko:  Yeah...and don't worry [To Kasamatsu] we didn't see 

[Both leave, laughing at Kasamatsu and for their good fortune]

Kasamatsu:  [Mutters to himself]  Little mercenaries!  Next time 
though, [evil grin] it'll be both your turns!  [Goes up the stairs 
with thoughts of creative SD mischief dancing through his head.  
When he gets to Rm No. 5, he knocks on the door.]

Kasuga:  [Opens the door]  Ah, Kasamatsu-san!

Kasamatsu:  Ohayo, Kasuga-san!

Kasuga:  [Goes back into the room]  Come on in.  Just put him down 

Kasamatsu:  [Puts the covered box on a side table, and puts the 
bird stand on the floor.  He pulls out a bag of seed from his 
pocket and gives it to Kasuga.]  Now that should be more than 
enough for the weekend.  The cage is already cleaned, so all you 
have to worry about is making sure he gets enough water.

Kasuga:  OK.  Say, what did you call this guy?

Kasamatsu:  Baka.

Kasuga:  Baka...?  That's his name?

Kasamatsu:  That's right!

Kasuga:  [To himself]  What a stupid name for a parrot...[To 
Kasamatsu]  So when will you be back to pick him up?

Kasamatsu:  Sunday night right after I get back into town.  [Turns 
to leave]  Thanks for doing this for me on such short notice, 
Kasuga-san!  I'm sure everything will turn out just fine between 
you two!

Kasuga:  By the way, can he say anything?

Kasamatsu:  [Stops, turns around and smiles]  Oh sure!  He can say 
a lot of stuff!  [Proudly]  I trained him myself.

Kasuga:  You mean like "hello"?

Kasamatsu:  [Is now almost out of the room, leaning his head in.  
His smile turns...sinister]  Heh...not quite!  [Closes door.  We 
can hear the sounds of his footsteps as he goes running down the 

[As the sounds of footsteps fade, Kasuga lifts off the sheet 
covering the cage.  The parrot is a tall red bird, with a variety 
of plumage spreading down to its wings.  His beak is a large, 
fierce-looking one, and along with his beady eyes, gives him an 
intimidating appearance.]

Kasuga:  Big one, isn't he...[He opens the cage and takes the 
parrot out of the cage and puts him on the stand.]  Hello? [to the 
parrot]  Can you say hello?

Baka:  <Squawk!>  BAKA!

Kasuga:  [Looks momentarily surprised] can say it's own 
name.  Pretty loud too.  [To Baka with slow emphasis.]  Can you say

Baka:  <Squawk!>  Kasuga hentai!

[Writer's note:  Under normal circumstances, I have been 
footnoting the Japanese Romanization I use.  However, in this 
case, since printing the actual contents of Baka's dialog might 
violate some people's rules regarding netiquette, I'll make an 
exception here.  If you're not sure what the parrot is saying, 
just be rest assured that he's not telling Kasuga "what a nice 
shirt you're wearing..."]

Kasuga:  [Now looks stunned]  Wh-what did you say?

Baka:  <Squawk!>  Kasuga no baka!  Kasuga bakayaro!  [Takes off 
and starts flying around the room.]

Kasuga:  WHY YOU LITTLE-! [Rolls up his sleeves and lunges after 

Baka:  [Flies into one of Kasuga's open boxes and after a brief 
scuffle with some clothing, comes out with one of Kasuga's 
underwear drapped around his neck]  Kasuga buta!  <Squawk!>

Kasuga:  [Picks himself out of the box, now with clothes scattered 
around the room]  That jerk Kasamatsu must be laughing halfway to 
Kyoto by now!  [Turns his attention back to Baka]  COME BACK HERE 

Baka:  Kasuga chikan!  <Squawk!>  [Flies into another one of 
Kasuga's boxes.  The box tips over and dumps a pile of 
miscellaneous items on Kasuga's desk.  He then tries to fly out, 
but his wings are entangled in a coil of rope that falls out of 
the box.]

Kasuga:  [Grabs the other end of the entangled rope]  GOT YOU NOW!  
[Looks at the rope more carefully]  Ehh...?

[Cut to the outside hallway, facing a closed door number 5.  From 
inside, Kasuga's voice is heard.]

Kasuga:  OH NOOOOO...!

[There is silence for several seconds after his shout fades away.  
The silence is marred only by a scratching and scuffing sound at 
the door.  Then, almost a minute later, Kasuga runs out the door, 
flapping his arms and running in an awkward fashion.]

[Writer's note:  To those who do not know the significance of the 
rope, see "I was a fish; I was a cat" OVA.]

[Cut to Ayukawa's apartment.  The camera slowly zooms forward, as 
we watch her copying down some material from a textbook.  Her work 
is interrupted by the sound of the telephone.]

Ayukawa:  [Picks up the phone]  Hello?...Ehh?  Who is this?  
[Starts to look a little confused] Who is this?  Is this some kind 
of joke?  [Hangs up.  She starts to continue her writing, then 
stops.  She looks at the phone and thinks to herself...]  Then 
again, knowing Kasuga, I guess I shouldn't put anything past him 
anymore.  [She stands up, gets her jacket and heads out the door, 
muttering to herself...]  Kasuga-kun better not be pulling my 

[Cut to the Kamon'yama public park tennis courts.  Katsu is 
sitting on the bench.  He's wearing a white collared tennis shirt 
and shorts.  His court bag, along with his racket, is sitting next 
to him.  As he looks at his watch again, Kasuga can be seen 
running up the sidewalk, flapping his arms.]

Kasuga:  [Muttering meaninglessly]  bakabakabakabakabaka...

Katsu:  [Puzzled look on his face]  What the heck...?  Kasuga-san?  
[Puts his hand on Kasuga's chest as he comes running up to him, 
bring him to a stop.]

Kasuga:  [Confused look on his face.]...

Katsu:  Where have you been?  [Looks and sees that's Kasuga 
doesn't have any of his tennis equipment and is not even 
appropriately dressed.]  Where's your stuff?

Kasuga:  [Confused look on his face.]...

Katsu:  Is something wrong, Kasuga-san?

Kasuga:  BAKA!

Katsu:  [Jumps back in surprise at the abruptness of Kasuga's 
response]  What the-?

[Cut back to the boarding house.  Ayukawa enters the main 
entrance.  Seeing that there's no one to meet her, she takes off 
her shoes and walks upstairs.  After getting to Room 5, she knocks 
on the door.]

Ayukawa:  Kasuga-kun!  [After getting no response, she opens the 
door and freezes.  She shakes her head as the examines the chaos 
around the room.  Boxes are tipped over, clothes and books are 
scattered around the room, and the futon is half-rolled on one 
side of the room.  Sitting in the middle of the room, next to a 
tipped-over telephone is Baka the parrot.]  What a mess!  Even 
Kasuga-kun should try and keep this place a little neater than 
this.  Kasuga-kun!

Baka:  Uhh...Ayukawa, [Bats her ankle with his wing] down here.  

Ayukawa:  [With a look of shock and disbelief]  Ka-Ka-Kasuga-kun?

Baka:  [Puts wing behind his head and laughs]  Uhh...ohayo?  

Ayukawa:  [Bends over and picks Baka up]  Tell me how this 
happened...[Leans forwards and stares him right in the face to 
make her point.]  and don't leave out the details!

Baka:  [Tries to laugh weakly...]  Would you believe...?  
<Squawk!>  [Can plainly see that she's not interested in double-
talk]  Well, it's sorta like this...

[Cut to the side street just outside the boarding house.  Ayukawa 
is walking down the hill.  Although she isn't angry, her face 
plainly shows irritation.  On her shoulder is Baka the parrot.  
Conspicuous to her regular clothing, Ayukawa is also wearing a 
pair of white gloves and holding a coil of rope.]

Ayukawa: do you always get yourself into these 
situations?  What did you do, take a calamity class?

Baka:  I don't know...sometimes I think it's God-given...

Ayukawa:  Tell me Kasuga-kun, has this ever happened before?

Baka:  Well, there was the time I was a ca...[Freezes when he 
remembers what happened *that* time.]

Ayukawa:  A cat?  What happened then?

Baka:  Err...nothing.  <Squawk!>

Ayukawa:  Any other times?

Baka:  A fish too...[slightly annoyed by the humiliating memories] 
Look, do we have to go into this? <Squawk!>

Ayukawa:  [Shrugs]  Any information might be helpful...[She then 
covers her mouth to hide her smile, but fails to do so 

Baka:  [Indignantly as he notices her smiling]  Well, I hope 
*you're* finding this situation amusing!  <Squawk!>

[While arguing, they pass by a couple of men and women sitting on 
benches, waiting for buses to arrive...]

Old Man 1:  Did you see that?

Old Man 2:  You mean that strange, pretty girl talking to her 

Old Man 1:  She must be a college know young people 
these days...

Old Man 2:  [Nods in agreement]  Hai...

[Cut back to Kamon'yama park.  Sitting on one of the park benches 
is a familiar looking couple.]

Umao:  Ushiko-san!

Ushiko:  Umao-san!

Umao:  Wherefore art thou, Ushiko-san?

Ushiko:  Wherefore art thou, Umao-san?

[Just then, Katsu storms past with an angry look on his face.  
Seeing space on the other side of the bench, he sits down, 
ignoring the couple to his left.]

Katsu:  [Mutters to himself]  What a jerk...!  Can't believe he'd 
say stuff like that; doesn't seem like him at all...[Shakes his 
head]  Just isn't my day...[He sits with his head down and stews 
for a few minutes.  Because of this, he doesn't see Ayukawa come 
walking up to him, until she's almost right in front of him...]

Ayukawa:  [With Baka sitting on her shoulder.]  Ohayo Katsu-san.

Katsu:  [Lifts his head]  Ayukawa-san...

Ayukawa:  Sorry to interrupt, but have you seen Kasuga-kun?

Katsu:  [Expression darkens.]  Sure...ask him what business he has 
calling me a hentai?

Baka:  [Small sweat bead forms on his head, as he thinks to 
himself]  Oh's worse than I thought...

Ayukawa:  I see...

Katsu:  [Looks frustrated and angry]  The should see 
what's under his futon, then ask him what he called me.

Ayukawa:  Oh really...[Gives Baka a meaningful look...]

Baka:  [Large sweat bead forms on his head, as he says to himself]  

Katsu:  Is he sick or something?

Ayukawa:  Well, he's...[Bites her lip as she thinks to herself...] 
Can't tell him the truth...he probably wouldn't believe me if I 
did...[Notices the test tubes sitting in his tennis bag, then 
says...] he's...suffering a...relapse of chemically-induced 
behavior from last week...

Katsu:  [Nods with an understanding look]  Oh shoot, I should have 
known!  [Shakes his head.]  It's all my fault!  We gotta stop him 
before it gets any worse!

Ayukawa:  [To herself]  Sorry Katsu-san...

[Cut to the Matsuzakaya Department store.  As with any weekend, 
the place is packed with shoppers, visitors and workers.  Amid the 
crowded walkway, Kimura sits by a table on the sidewalk cafe.]

Kimura:  [Picks up a glass of soda and takes a sip.  She looks at 
her watch, then notices a commotion in the crowd.]  Eh?  [Setting 
her drink down, she sees a familiar figure being rudely pushed 
around by an apparently hostile crowd.]  Kyo-chan?  [Waves her 
arms to get his attention.]  Over here!

Kasuga:  [Meaningless look of confusion on his face.]  ...

Kimura:  [Notices his silence and lack of comprehension.]  You're 
early did the tennis match go?

Kasuga:  BAKA!

Kimura:  [Shocked]  Wh-what's wrong?  Are you feeling alright?

Kasuga:  [Looks in her general direction]  Bakayaro!  Yariman!

Kimura:  [Speechless as tears start to trickle down her cheeks.] 

[Cut to the Chojamachi bridge.  The Ooka river flows slowly below 
as Ayukawa and Katsu run across.  Both have a sense of urgency on 
their faces as the come to a halt at a major intersection.]

Katsu:  Think he went this way?

Ayukawa:  Pretty sure...[gestures at the squabbling crowd pointing 
towards the major shopping areas.]  Someone must have created a 
stir coming through here...

Katsu:  I just hope we can get to him before he gets 
hurt...[Shakes his head.] Someone's liable to misinterpret his 
actions and take offense.

Ayukawa:  [Nods]  Hopefully he doesn't run into someone short-

[Cut to the Okonomiyaki-Maru.  The afternoon sun hangs overhead, 
spilling over the restaurant's shaded coverings.  Students and 
other customers are congregating inside the dining room and the 
outside patio.  Amid the busy crowd, Yoko and Yuko are splitting a 
pork and shrimp okonomiyaki*.]
*A thin flat cake of unsweetened batter with various ingredients 
like beef, vegetables, seafood, etc.

Yoko:  ...still don't know what you see in him.  [Takes a bite 
then puts her piece down.]  Just because he's smart doesn't mean 
he's going to be a successful salaryman.

Yuko:  At least he's going to be a salaryman!  Saito-san's a 
realist; he doesn't have any unrealistic dreams about being a 
performer...[looks meaningfully at Yoko's direction] unlike some 

Yoko:  [Turns her nose up.]  Humph!  That's cold coming from 
you...but at least I have dreams.  Saito-san's too spineless to 
even try.  Then there's that weird friend of his...

Yuko:  [Nods in agreement]  Kasamatsu?  Yea, he is a weirdo...what 
was he wearing...[stifles a giggle] Black Ninja?

Yoko:  [Laughs out loud]  Red Ninja I think...I wish I was sober 
enough to remember...the sight of seeing *him* in a ninja suit 
would have made the whole experience almost...[trails off when she 
sees who's coming up behind Yuko.] well look who's here...[grins] 
it's the punch man himself!

Yuko:  You're being mean...I think it was all Katsu-san's fault.  
I mean, what business did he have keeping stuff like that in the 

Yoko:  [To Kasuga, who's just walking up.]  Well what do you 
think?  [Smiles with a mock threat implied...]  Who should we 
clobber for last week's embarrasing party?

Kasuga:  BAKA!

Yuko:  [Expression of total shock.]  Wh-what did you call me?

Yoko:  [No longer smiling and with a now-legitimate threat 
implied.]  Are you trying to lose some teeth?

Kasuga:  Otemba!

Yuko:  [Stands up, as her teeth begin to grate.]  <Grrr!>

Yoko:  [Hackles beginning to raise.]  One more word out of you and 

Kasuga:  Debu...

Yuko:  [Face white with rage.]  WHY...YOU...!  [Pulls her arm back 
with her hand balled into a fist.]

Yoko:  [By now so angry, she can barely talk...]  
THAT...DOES...IT!  [Speed lines form in the background as she 
pulls her arm back as well.]

[Writer's note:  To avoid scaring little kids with the sounds of 
breaking bones :-), let's take a...]


[Camera pan downtown Tokyo, zooming in on an enormous, five-story 
train station...]

Voiceover:  Down in a Tokyo suburb, there's a okonomiyaki place 
with a special flair...

[Show a young girl with long black hair.  She is wearing a 
shoulder-to-waist belt, holding several spatulas in place.  She 
flips eight okonomiyakies at once with a giant spatula then 
skillfully flips the spatula onto her back and, with lightening 
speed and precision, flips the eight okonomiyakies onto separate 
plates around the room.]

Voiceover:  At Ucchans, customers never know what to expect, 
except the very best food...

[Show several fights break out, several kettles of hot water being 
poured and several glasses of cold water being delibarately 
splashed on several of the patrons, including a giant panda bear 
holding up a wooden sign that says "Another order here!"...]

Voiceover:  ...but if you want to go, bring your appetite and your 
VISA card...

[Show a shrivelled old man running across the dining room, being 
chased by several angry girls...]

Voiceover:  Because at Ucchans they don't serve second-best...

[Show a red-haired, pony-tailed girl running screaming, chasing 
after the shrivelled old man...]

Voiceover:  ...and they don't take...American Express!

[Show a girl with short black hair and a giant wooden hammer 
chasing and screaming at the red-haired girl...]

Voiceover:  VISA...It's everywhere you want to be!

[Writer's note:  Standard Disclaimer.]


[Cut back to the Matsuzakaya Department store.  As Ayukawa and 
Katsu come running up, they can see Kimura sits by a table 

Kimura:  [Head buried in her hands...] 

Baka:  [Sympathetically in shock]  Oh no...this is terrible!

Ayukawa:  [Puts her arm on Kimura's shoulder in comfort.]  Keiko-

Kimura:  [Still sobbing.]  Madoka-san...[Buries her head in 
Ayukawa's chest.]  Kyo-chan was here calling me such awful 

Katsu:  [Gently puts his hands on her cheeks and lifts her head 
up.]  It's not what it looks like!  Remember last week when we 
were all acting...kinda weird?

Kimura:  [Nods and slowly stops crying.] ...

Katsu:  Kasuga-san's suffering a's affecting his 
inhibitions.  [Trying to reassure Kimura.]  He's talking without 

Ayukawa:  [Muses to herself.]  What a switch that would 
be...[Snaps back to the situation at hand.]  Do you understand 
what we're saying?  He can't help himself, so we've got to find 
him and keep him from doing anything else he'll regret later.

Kimura:  [Now starting to return to herself, she nods as she dries 
her tears.]  Hai...

[Cut to the Chojamachi intersection near the Ishikawacho district.  
Fujimoto and her son Eiji are walking on the sidewalk window 
shopping.  Behind them, a school campus rings its bell, signalling 
the start of the next class period.]

Eiji:  Okaasan*...can we get some food now?  I'm hungry.

Fujimoto:  [Still window shopping.]  Just a minute...[Takes a 
closer look at some of the kitchen appliances and winces at the 
prices.]'s so tough to get by these days...

Eiji:  [Jumps up and down.]  OKAASAN!!!!

Fujimoto:  [Digs through her purse.]  Oh very well...[Gives Eiji a 
small handful of coins and smiles.]  Come right back!

Eiji:  Hai!  [Leaves with a smile of satisfaction on his face.]

[Fujimoto continues looking for several minutes, unaware that 
Kasuga is walking up behind her...]

Kasuga:  [Bumps into Fujimoto with a blank expression on his 
face.]  ...

Fujimoto:  [Surprised, but smiles nonetheless.]  Kasuga-san!  
Well, fancy meeting you here!

Kasuga:  BAKA!

Fujimoto:  [In shock]  Ka-Kasuga-san?  What are you saying?

Kasuga:  [Mindlessly]  Bakayaro!

Eiji:  [Just coming back from the snack stand, holding two ice 
cream cones in his hands and an astonished look on his face.]  

Fujimoto:  [Firmly as she tries to cover Eiji's ears in vain.]  I 
don't know what's gotten into you, but I'm going to have to ask 
you to watch your language around my son!

Kasuga:  Damare-yo!

Fujimoto:  [Angrily]  Kasuga-san!

Kasuga:  [Apparently afraid of Fujimoto's unexpected outburst, he 
goes running off, while mindlessly muttering strange things to 
himself.]  bakabakabakabaka...

Fujimoto:  [With a concerned look on her face.]  What's wrong with 

Eiji:  Wow...[As Kasuga goes running off] he's talking just like 
Teruhiko-oniichan's parrot!

[Cut back to the Okonomiyaki-Maru.  There has been some commotion 
on the patio as Yuko and Yoko are dusting themselves off and 
smiling with satisfaction.  Just as they finish bragging about 
their exploits to some other witnesses, Ayukawa, Kimura, and Katsu 
come running up.]

Yuko:  [To one of the student bystanders.]  ...then I let him have 
it in the gut!

Yoko:  [Nods and continues.]  Right!  Then when he bent over, I 
finished him off!

Ayukawa:  [Taps Yoko on the shoulder.]  Miyasato-san, are you 
talking about Kasuga-kun?

Katsu:  We're looking for him; have you seen him?

Yoko:  Sure [With a satisfied look on her face] we saw him!

Yuko:  He was saying the most obnoxious things, but we took care 
of him!  [Holds her fingers in a "V for Victory" sign.]

Yoko:  Right!  [With an even more satisfied look on her face, as 
she cracks her knuckles.]  He'll be lucky if he ever walks again!

Baka:  [With a really terrified look on his face.]  Oh...shoot!  
What did they do to my body?

Ayukawa:  I'm afraid there's been a misunderstanding.  Kasuga-kun 
is...not himself today.

Katsu:  [Nods]  Right.  He suffering from a relapse of chemically 
induced behavior from last week.

Yuko:  [Looks at Yoko and puts her hand behind her head.]  Uh-

Yoko:  [Look of embarrassment]  Err...[Sheepishly hands Ayukawa 
two teeth.]  then could you give these to him when you see him?  
We'd do it ourselves, but I don't think he's gonna want to see us 
for a while...

Baka:  I...I don't believe this...[Falls off Ayukawa's shoulder 

Kimura:  [Picks up Baka's limp form]  Oh my...your parrot just 
fainted, Madoka-san.

Ayukawa:  [Puts her hand on her face as she says to herself...]  
This isn't happening...[To Yoko]  Did you see which way he went?

Yoko:  Well, he couldn't have gotten far.  When he left here, he 
was hobbling on one...

Yuko:  [Puts her hand on Yoko's mouth, then whispers...]  Don't 
tell them about that!  They'll blame us!  [To Ayukawa as she 
points to a sign.]  He was heading to that complex of buildings.

[Ayukawa, Kimura, and Katsu turn around.  Behind them is a sign 
marked, "Yokohama Fighting Girls High School".  Scrawled 
underneath in someone's handwriting is, "Hentais will be severely 

Ayukawa:  [Takes Baka from Kimura, then sarcastically to 
herself...]  Well that's a switch...more bad news...

Katsu:  [Sees the figurative and literal handwriting on the 
wall...]  Well, it looks like I'm gonna be more of a liability 
than an asset here.  I'll meet you girls back at the boarding 
house.  I should have an antidote for Kasuga by the time you get 
back.  Bye!  [Leaves]

[Cut to the high school gymnasium.  Ayukawa and Kimura are looking 
around then see several girls congregating around a small group, 
whispering among themselves.]

Kimura:  [Taps one of them on the shoulder.]  Say, have you seen a 
brown-haired guy in a light-gray sweatshirt running around with a 

High school girl 1:  You mean the weirdo?

Kimura:  [Indignantly]  Hey!  That's not ni-

Ayukawa:  [Cutting Kimura off]  Then he came by here?

High school girl 2:  Sure, he went in there...[Points to a door on 
one corner of the gym.  Ayukawa and Kimura's expressions freeze.  
Mounted on the door is a sign that says "Locker Room".]

Ayukawa and Kimura in unison:  Oh...boy...!

Ayukawa:  [To Kimura]  Can you meet us by the exit?  I'll try and 
see if I can get him without any fuss.

Kimura:  [Nods and smiles.]  Um!  [Leaves.]

[Cut back to the boarding house.  Katsu comes running up the hill 
and enters through the front door.  Right after his shoes come 
off, he turns around and see Fujimoto.]

Katsu:  Konnichiwa Fujimoto-san!  [Bows, then starts to go 

Fujimoto:  [Notices his hurry.]  What's wrong?  [Thinks for a 
moment.]  It has something to do with Kasuga-san, doesn't it?

Katsu:  [Stops]  You've seen him?

Fujimoto:  [Nods]  He was using the most disgraceful language 
but...[Tries to remember] I got the feeling he wasn't himself.

Katsu:  [Nods]  He's suffering a relapse of chemically-induced 
behavior.  I'm going upstairs to make an extra strong antidote to 
make sure this time.  Ayukawa-san and Kimura-san are out looking 
for him.  I'm just hoping they can keep him out of trouble until 

Fujimoto:  [Smiles]  Don't worry.  Ayukawa-san is such a sure-
handed person.  I'm sure she has him right where she wants him.

[Cut to the girls' gym locker room.  The girls here are apparently 
finishing up their class period and are changing back to their 
school clothes.  Lining the walls are rows of lockers and benches 
laid out parallel to each other as the showers fill the air with 
moisture.  The smell of perspiration is heavy; as are the sounds 
of gossip.]

High school girl 3:  [Brushing her hair.]...and he said, "I don't 
want to be seen with a girl like you!"

High school girl 4:  [Putting on her blouse.]  Really?  I can't 
believe he'd have the nerve!

Lead girl:  [Finishes tying her hair and closes her locker.]  
Never let boys say that to you!  [Judging from the attention her 
words command, it's apparent she's a person of some repute in this 
crowd.]  If you do, they'll walk all over you!  If a boy ever 
comes up to me with that kind of attitude, I'll teach him a lesson 
he'll never...!  [Voice trails off as the face of the girl in 
front of her goes white.]

High school girl 5:  [Pointing at Kasuga, who has just stumbled 
into the shower area.]  H-H-HENTAI!

Lead girl:  [Turns around, then with a demanding tone...]  CREEP!  
WHAT DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING HERE?  [Irritated by Kasuga's 
confused silence.]  WELL?  YOU'D BETTER HAVE A GOOD ANSWER!

Kasuga:  BUSU...!


[For the next several seconds, the locker room is deadly silent,.  
Kasuga stares blankly at the rapidly growing hostile crowd.  
Having just entered the room, Ayukawa stands in silence behind 
Kasuga.  She was observing the exchange, and knows what's about to 
happen next as the sound of a glass bottle falling and shattering 
on the tile breaks the silence...]

Lead girl:  [White-faced with fury, she turns to the rest of the 
girls in the room as speed lines form in the background.]  RIP... 
HIS... <beep!>... OFF!!!!

Baka:  [Paralyzed with fear on Ayukawa's shoulder]  ...

Ayukawa:  [Mutters to herself]  So much for doing this 
quietly...[With one smooth motion, she vaults forward over the 
bench into the lead girl, sending her crashing into the crowd 
behind her, gaining valuable seconds.  Ayukawa then grabs Kasuga 
by the arm and starts running...]  Sorry!

Lead girl:  [Maniacal expression on her face as she turns to the 
others.]  GET HIM!  GET THEM BOTH!

[The crowd explodes forwards as one, screaming for blood.  Ayukawa 
manages to gain some distance because of her pursuers' negotiation 
of lockers and benches.  As she re-enters the open gymnasium, it 
is apparent that the crowd's numbers, along with Kasuga's lack of 
cooperation is going to make their escape next to impossible.  
Ayukawa manages to exit the building, dragging Kasuga behind her 
but she knows she only has a few seconds.  Then she spies Kimura 
waiting at the corner next to one of the campus buildings.]

Ayukawa:  Kimura!  [Dragging Kasuga with her in one hand, holding 
the rope in the other, and Baka on her shoulder struggling to stay 
on.]  See if you can slow them down!  [Disappears around the 

Kimura:  [Nods sharply.]  Um!  [Kimura steps behind the building 
wall as Ayukawa passes her.  She then reaches for her blouse 
collar and judiciously starts to rip a section down the middle.]

[Cut back to the Yokohama girls.  Having momentarily lost sight, 
the lead girl signals for the crowd to stop.]

Lead girl:  Kuso...where did he go?  [Gesture to the crowd.]  
Spread out!  If anyone sees him...

Kimura:  [From behind one of the alleyways.]  WHAAAAAAA...!

Lead girl:  Eh?  [She walks into the alley along with half of the 
girls present.  When she notices the torn blouse, she arrived at 
the natural conclusion.  She grabs Kimura by the arms and 
demands...]  Where did the pervert go?

Kimura:  [Tearfully]  H-he ran off down that alley...[points 
towards a group of decrepit-looking buildings across the street.]  
He s-said he had more girls waiting for him...!

High school girl 4:  WHY THAT-!

Lead girl:  LET'S GET HIM!

[Crowd of girls go running off to administer "divine retribution".  
Kimura continues to whimper, until the crowd is clearly out of 
sight and earshot.  Satisfied, she stops crying, then freezes.  
She turns slowly and looks directly at the viewer.  Her nose turns 
red with embarrassment...]

Kimura:  [Draws her torn blouse together and waves at the viewer.]  

[Cut to the boarding house.  As Kimura, Yoko and Yuko walk up the 
front lawn path, all three start to hold their noses.]

Yoko:  [Look of disgust.]  What in the world...?

Yuko:  [Tries to wave the smell away from her nose.]  Katsu must 
be busy again!

[As they open the front door, Fujimoto comes out of Room 3, 
wearing a paper fume protector over her nose and mouth.]

Fujimoto:  Katsu promises he's almost finished...but he says he's 
going to need help to administer the dosage.

Kimura:  [Somewhat confused as she holds her nose.]  Ehh...what 
kind of help?

Fujimoto:  [With a smile visible even through the mask.]  
Well...this *is* an oral compound...

[Cut to an alleyway adjacent to the road leading up to Kasuga's 
boarding house.  It's dusk as we see Ayukawa standing watch while 
Baka is standing on one side of the alleyway.  Unfortunately, 
Kasuga is not proving cooperative.]

Baka:  [Holding one end of the rope with his talon.]  Come on!  
<Squawk!>  Grab the rope you stupid parrot!

Kasuga:  [With a blank expression on his face.]  BAKA!

Baka:  WHY YOU...!

Ayukawa:  [Exasperated by the scene of futility.]  Gimme that!  
[Grabs the other end of the rope; fortunately, she's wearing 
gloves.  However, as she walks over towards Kasuga, he starts 
edging away.]  Hold that pose...!  [Winds back and throws the end 
of the rope towards Kasuga, who catches it by reflex.  The rope 
crackles with energy, then both Baka and Kasuga collapse.  Ayukawa 
waits for several seconds, then walks over towards Kasuga and 
tries to rouse him.]  Are you alright?

Kasuga:  [Tries to sit up and finds he barely has the strength.]  
Well...I'm bruised all over, my stomach feels like it's been 
punched, and I think I'm missing a couple of teeth...but 
otherwise...I'm just fine...[Collapses to a prone position.]

Ayukawa:  [Sighs]  Finally...

[Ayukawa helps Kasuga up as they leave the alleyway and make their 
way up the road back to the boarding house.  Ayukawa is still 
holding Baka, as Kasuga rubs his jaw and walks with a noticable 

Ayukawa:  Oh by the way, before I forget...[She tosses the coil of 
rope to Kasuga.]

Kasuga:  [Catches the rope and takes a good long look at it as he 
says to himself...] It seems that everytime I touch this, bad 
things happen to me...[He tosses the rope back to Ayukawa.]  You 
keep it...maybe you'll have better luck with it...[Continues 
walking up the path, leaving Ayukawa standing alone with a 
surprised look on her face.]

Ayukawa:  Are you sure Kasuga-kun?  Who knows...[Holds the rope 
up.]  maybe you'll find some use for this someday.

Kasuga:  [Still dejected.]  Maybe...but I don't want to be there 
to find out...

Ayukawa:  [Smiles as he continues to walk.]  Have it your 

Kasuga:  ...

[They continue to walk up in silence, but as the boarding house 
comes into view, they come to a stop.  Strew across the front lawn 
is Kasuga's futon, boxes and other belongings...]

Kasuga:  [Realization slowly dawns on him.]  Oh's 
the first of the month...and rent is past due...

[Cut to Egami's office.  He is writing an entry into his ledger as 
Kasuga stamps his hanko* onto a receipt.]
*Seal/stamp used after a person's name on legally binding 

Egami:  ...and that should do it.  [Looks at Kasuga and smiles 
with evil satisfaction]  You may now move your stuff back in!

Kasuga:  [To himself]  What a  day...thank goodness it's over 

Egami:  [Before Kasuga leaves]  Oh Kasuga-san!  Do you know what 
time it is?

Kasuga:  [Notes that it's 8:32pm]  What about it?

Egami:  [Smiles even more]  Well, it's after 6:00pm...and you owe 
me another 2000 yen!

Kasuga:  [His hanko slips out of his fingers as he stares at the 
door with a depressed look on his face] ...

[Cut to Kasuga's room.  It's late at night and Kasuga is laying 
down on his futon, in an attempt to put the day behind him and out 
of his memory.  His rest is interrupted by a knock at the door...]

Kasuga:  Ehh?  [Gets up and opens the door]  Katsu-san!  Fujimoto-
san!  Miyasato-san!  Kimura-san!  What are you all doing here?

Katsu:  Well, Kasuga-san, we were still concerned that your 
chemical imbalance might still be lingering.  [Holds up a vile-
smelling beaker of yellow fluid.]  So I whipped up an oral 
antidote for the behavioral-changing ch...

Kasuga:  [Holds his nose and waves him off.]  Hey I'm OK now!  

Katsu:  Come on Kasuga!  [His face, along with the others are now 
showing signs of sterness.]  You can never be sure when lingering 
after effects might come up, so it's better to be safe than sorry!

Kasuga:  [Steps back into his room to put some distance from him 
and the foul-smelling concoction.]  But...

Katsu:  [Sighs]  I was afraid you were going to say that.  [Turns 
to the others.]  Grab him!

Yoko:  [Charges into the room.]  It's for you're own good, Kasuga-
san! [Grabs his left arm and locks it behind his shoulder.]

Yuko:  [Charges into the room.]  That's right, Kasuga-san!  You'll 
thank us in the morning! [Grabs his right arm and locks it behind 
his other shoulder.]

Kimura:  [Charges into the room.]  Remember we're only doing this 
because we care about you!  [Grabs his legs and takes them out 
from under Kasuga, sending all four to the ground.]  We'll nurse 
you back to health, Kyo-chan!  [Smiles at him as she pins his 
ankles together.]

Fujimoto :  [Calmly steps into the room, holding a tray of hot 
cookies with a pair of baker gloves.]  I know how difficult it is 
to take bad tasting medicine, [smiles at Kasuga] so I prepared 
some fresh cookies.  They'll help the bad taste go away!

Eiji:  OH BOY!  [Charges into the room.]  TIME TO BEAT UP KYOSUKE-
ONIICHAN!  [Grabs Kasuga's head and holds it steady.]


then starts pouring down Kasuga's throat.] AND TASTES WORSE, 
[Holds Kasuga's mouth shut and pinches his nose as the others hold 

Kasuga's Narration:  It's nice to have friends.  It's nice to know 
they care about me and will do whatever it takes to make sure I'm 


Kasuga's Narration:  ...but I sure could use that cookie right 

[Slowly pull back from the frozen scene.  In the black background, 
the viewer sees a photo of everyone piled on top of a struggling 
Kasuga as Katsu is pouring the unnecessary antidote down his 
throat.  To the side, Fujimoto-san smiles and waits as she hold a 
tray of warm cookies.]


New Characters Designer/Writer	Stephen Tsai
Co-writer/plotter			Andy Combs
Pre-readers				Ravi Konchigeri
					Derek Work
					Christian Gadeken
					Chung-Mau Cheng
					Robert Carragher
					George Yim
Very special thanks to		Hitoshi Doi

A tip of the hat and a deep bow to	Matsumoto Izumi for starting 
the whole thing

If I left anyone off, my apologies.  Any mistakes/embarrassing 
faux pas are entirely my own.  If there is anything here you must 
flame, aim them at me and me alone.

Thank you for taking the time to read this episode of my series.  
If you are interested, previous episodes should be available at 
the ftp site.  Assuming that I don't get flamed off 
the net, I've got the next episode in the works.  If you have any 
story ideas, or general ideas, please send them.  Any tidbits 
about the Japanese advanced education system will be especially 
looked at (see first writer's note).

Hope you enjoyed it and thanks again!

For the new readers:  I'll be doing character profiles, major 
location descriptions, and situation updates on a rotating basis 
for each episode.  If there is a particular character, place or 
event that you would like to know more about, and it is not being 
covered, don't hesistate to email me and I will send you either a 
note or a copy of the episode it is introduced.

Focus on Kasamatsu Teruhiko[Introduced in Episode 2]: One of 
Kyosuke's mathematics classmates, Kasamatsu is a freshman 
engineering major.  Although not quite as sharp as Saito, he is 
still a student to be reckoned.  Having little of a social life in 
high school, he turned to practical jokes to gain the attention of 
his classmates.  Unfortunately for Kasuga, the habit has stuck.
	While in high school, he was a good friend to Saito Kenichi; 
who has often corroborates with him on his more elaborate schemes.  
He has a nasty sense of humor and plays practical jokes on a whim.  
When the mood strikes, and he gets the modivation, he has been 
known to execute some truly convoluted and elaborate pranks.
Visual Description:  An overweight guy with uncombed brown hair.  
He wears thick glasses, and usually has a shifty expression on his 
face. Close anime comparisons include (but are not limited to) 
Hanson from Nadia, Tanaka from Otaku No Video.

Andy (The Android) Combs | "Sometimes you're the windshield,|  sometimes you're the bug."
                         |  Dire Straits

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